Blac and Nents silly match reports

[Nentsia]

SSC Napoli - Valencia CF



So for the first time since a while, me and the silly Blac faced each other on the pitch again. Silly Blac picked the even more silly Valencia, and I went with Napoli. This time I did something different than I normally do, I deployed my 2nd favorite formation (4-3-1-2) against Blac. So far I never dared to use it against Blac due to its vulnerability on the flanks, and Blac always kills me from the flanks. But I spent the past few days perfecting this typically Italian formation, and I just had to see how it works out against the most Silly Antiguan.

Show ContentThe Italian Idea:

The idea behind the 4-3-1-2 is to deploy a so-called ''tridente'' up front, an attacking trio, supplemented by a defensive block of 7 hard-working players. Except for 2 players, all players are packed in the centre of the pitch. This makes it difficult to play against for any team. The roles may vary a bit per team, but this is the most generic layout. In many ways, the 4-3-1-2 employs almost every player role that the Italians pretty much invented. The key element is the composition of the attacking trio, which is very hard to defend against if the right players are selected that complement each other. In my case, Hamsik featured as my ''trequartista'', the specialist in what Italians call ''fantasia'', the man who spots even the briefest windows of opportunities to create a goal-scoring situation. Higuain featured as my poacher, the designated goal-scorer. He had no other tasks but to wait in the penalty area for the right moment to move into position to score. Gabbiadini played as a second striker, or a ''velocista'', with his primary role to drift to the flanks, make dribbles and runs, and create scoring chances for Higuain.

Behind these three, I fielded three hard-working midfielders. Ghoulam, my left full back, was given the liberty to rush forward and provide crosses from the flank. In the Serie A I would've also given Maggio that liberty, but because of Blac's dangerously fast wingers, I told him to stay closer to his own goal.

The silly Blac came with his expected and dreaded 4-2-3-1. After 5 minutes, there was nothing happening. After 45 minutes, still nothing had happened. Blac's team barely got any shots on goal, both teams barely achieved a 70% pass rate, and it was the slowest, most boring game we've ever had. I'll admit guilt here that this was in no small amount due to my tactics. Having a 4-man defense, shielded by 3 central midfielders, I did everything in my power to disrupt Blac's play and to stifle his offense. I let my own team play cautiously, organized, mechanistic even. I was deliberately playing a waiting game, waiting for that brief moment of concentration loss to strike. It happened suddenly in the 53rd minute when a cross was chipped in by one of my strikers (forgot who it was). My frustrating of the game was rewarded with a nice goal. The game then resumed its pace (or lack of it).

My Napoli withdrew itself deeper and deeper into its own half, delaying time and frustrating Valencia. Suddenly, out of nothing, Negredo fired a miraculous distance shot in my goal. Smelling a victory, I switched to a very opportunistic playing style - sending long balls forward to my two strikers. Higuain had left with an injury and was replaced with Insigne. Insigne was the new ''Velocista'', Gabbiadini was the new designated goal-scorer. And he scored in the 92nd minute, with 10 seconds left. Immediately after his goal (which was a bit lucky), Valencia equalized again after an own goal. 2-2.

In our second game something strange happened. Blac's Valencia got no more than 1 shot attempt in the entire first half. He's never had that before, usually his teams just keep firing one cannonball after another. Even more surprising was that he did dominate ball posession, with about 65%. For me, having 35% ball posession wasn't a particular concern. I don't know how or why Blac suddenly dominated the ball posession in our 2nd match, but it was one of my Napoli players that scored around the 20th minute anyway. Sweet, sweet revenge, for many lost games, to steal the lead like that in such a poor game. Having the 1-0 lead, my Napoli was of course happy to continue focussing entirely on frustrating Blac's players. Finally, an organization that can withstand Blac's crazy offensive plays. In the 77th minute, again a late equalizer from Valencia. So the second game ended in 1-1.

In the 3rd game, something went wrong. Within 30 minutes, Valencia was ahead 3-0. I didn't change my tactics. Blac didn't change much. How could this happen? When reviewing my own team I noticed I had actually forgotten to implement a tactical adjustment I did make in the previous two games, but forgot to implement in this one. It was quite a crucial adjustment that concerned my central defenders and, looking at who scored the goals (Cheryshev), these might not have occurred if my central defenders had positioned themselves in the way they had done in previous matches. Then Blac lost his connection, and we restarted our game for one final match.

This time I made sure to set things right, and it was another typically slow, and dull match. Occasionally there were some counter attacks on both sides. Blac's Valencia has the rapid wingers, my Napoli is always waiting for an opportunity to attack into space. Then Blac brought Andre Gomes on the pitch, and I knew this meant trouble, for the guy is a tremendously gifted playmaker and sharpshooter. Out of nothing, late in the match, Cheryshev shot from distance on goal, and my goalie touched it but the ball went in through the post anyway. Being forced into attack, Blac quickly sealed my fate with a splendid low cross from Feghouli, scored by Gomes.

Despite that 2-0 loss, we had an entertaining (and at the same time boring) run.

[Nentsia]

As my season has ended, I've appointed myself as the team manager of the Italian national team, as Euro 2016 is happening and I wouldn't want to waste an opportunity to lead Italy at an international tournament. Im in Group D, together with England, Poland, and Austria. The first game was against England - an opponent to be feared. In reality, England's national team always sucks. It ~always~ does. English kick 'n rush is just a bit too simplistic to succeed at an international level. In FM16 however, made by English people, the English are terribly good... How unsurprising. Every mediocre English talent is grossly overrated.

In any case, this justified a reactive strategy against the English. I also had to do without players like Chiellini and De Rossi, who were severely injured.

Show ContentItaly vs England:

The recipe against England was a classic Italian 5-3-2. I deployed a highly rigid, well-organized formation, with rigid man-marking and sitting deep within its own half. Marchisio played in front of the defense as a playmaker, sending long balls forward to Pelle, or to the flanks where especially Florenzi ran up and down.

The English played at a high pace, quickly searching for the wings, where they had rapid dribbling players like Walcott. Throughout the game they were unable to find their way through my well-organized defense that responded dynamically to the movements of the English players. Barzagli was constantly on Rooney's tail, Marchisio and Romagnoli watched Sterling, and Antonelli and Florenzi dealt with the wings. They received support from the two outer central midfielders (Parolo & Verratti), or if a winger threatened to break through, received support from one of the three central defenders. Bonucci played as a sort of a Libero, in charge of organizing the defense, and with setting the play.

Most of the game took place in my half, but the English failed to create scoring chances and most of their shots were blocked or deflected. They fired a total of 23 shots, but only 7 were on goal.

My Italian crew was not entirely passive during the match. Upon an interception, long balls were sent forward to Pelle, who often managed to find Gabbiadini storming forward. When Gabbiadini faced an opponent he would usually sent the ball to the right flank where Florenzi was storming into the open space. Florenzi would run with the ball, and try to cross. Out of these moments, Pelle was occassionally able to shoot on goal. In other cases, the attack was built up through the 3 central defenders and Marchisio. He searched for the wings, and if no crossing opportunity was available, Verratti and Parolo would offer themselves. They linked the play with the 2 strikers, who tried to cut through the English defence and shoot on goal. Both Pelle and Gabbiadini fired some great cannonballs on goal. Overall however, my team played poorly. The passing was dreadful (66% success rate), with even simple passes being ruined. The team continued to rely mostly on the long ball towards Pelle, who either wasted ball posession, or managed to reach a team player who fired on goal. Throughout the game Italy had 39% ball posession.

There were also periods during the game that nothing happened. Basically, the entire 2nd half was such a period. But Italy wouldn't be Italy if it didn't have some sneaky plan to steal the undeserved victory from the English. In the 87th minute I sent my blue-shirted troops out of their trenches for one last charge. In the 90th minute, Florenzi had the ball on the right flank, and, in a moment of concentration loss among the English defenders, he threw a far cross into the English penalty box where the defenders had completely abandoned Graziano Pelle, who beautifully headed the ball past the English goalkeeper. Then followed 2 minutes of pure Catenaccio and the Azzurri could celebrate their 1-0 victory over England.

After the match, the media confronted me with the undeserved late goal, and the frustrations of the English team manager. Not even I could deny the victory was undeserved. Then again, stealing wins at international tournament is an Italian specialty. The English could've expected this iron football law: If you dont score, the other team will sooner or later.

[Nentsia]

I've played my 2nd game of the Euro 2016 tournament, and the next opponent was Poland. Poland has grown to one of the stronger teams in Europe, as many Polish players nowadays play with top teams in the German Bundesliga, the Italian Serie A, and the French and English leagues. Lewandowski, their striker, is their best player - one of the best strikers in the world. My scouts warned for his tendency to dive near the penalty area and earn free kicks. Of course, I put the best man-marker in the world on his tail: Andrea Barzagli.

My formation barely changed, but the tactics did somewhat. Against England, I had basically parked the bus in front of the goal. I literally won just because I sent the troops forward in the final 5 minutes of the match. And because I had luck. Against Poland I wanted the team to take more initiative in the match and actively seek to score (and not wait until a lucky strike in the 90th minute...). The positional change I made was to switch to a flat 3-man midfield in the centre. Against England Marchisio played as a defensive midfielder, because I wanted to bother Sterling. Poland had no attacking midfielder, enabling me to bring Marchisio forward. Poland's formation was a defensive 4-2-1-3, with 2 defensive midfielders and a central midfielder shielding their defense.

Show Contentformations:

The game was, as could be expected, boring. My team tried to reach the two strikers from the flanks. Marchisio and Verratti used their sublime passing skills to send long balls to the flanks, offer support to my wing-backs, and switch the play to the other side of the pitch if necessary. Pelle dropped deeper to receive direct passes in the transitional faces, while he waited for the cross in the penalty box during attacks.

Basically, nothing meaningful happened in the first half. Poland played at a deadly slow pace, and kept pretty much everyone behind the ball when they had posession. My Italian crew was a little more dangerous, with its constant searching of the wings and dangerous long crosses into the box. Other than that, my team too played cautiously. Poland held most of the ball posession, but they did little with it. They were too scared, and my defensive organization too stable. My team quickly lost posession, but it had mainly to do with the rather fast search for the strikers in the penalty box - thus leading to posession loss. In the 60th minute however, the ball fell for a blue guy's feet and my team scored. It was a ramshackle affair however: Verratti received the ball from the left flank on Poland's half, and sent it deep to the right flank for Florenzi. Florenzi dribbled into the penalty box, shot, but the keeper blocked it. Then Pelle tried to score from the rebound, but a Polish player threw himself before the goal. Then finally there was Gabbiadini to put his foot against the lose ball and scored.

Six minutes later, Poland equalized. Their right winger went past my defender, crossed it, and Buffon tried to knock it away. But instead he knocked it in front of Grosicki's feet who scored.

By the 82nd minute, my team was preparing to besiege the Polish team to grind out another late winning goal, but it wasn't necessary. Out of a corner kick, the Poles lost ball posession. Verratti sent a long ball forward to Pelle, waiting at the half line. As he received the ball, Gabbiadini went deep through the middle of the pitch, with not a single Polish defender around. Pelle sent a deep pass, and Gabbiadini - 1v1 on the goalkeeper - scored 2-1. It was a perfect counter-attack, executed with only 2 touches of the ball. The Poles, still wishing to survive the group stage, were now forced to go forward. My team, meanwhile, resurrected the Great Wall of Italia.

In the 90th minute, there was again an Italian counter-attack. This time it was along the right flank. As the counter was slowed down, Verratti switched the play to the left flank. Mattia De Sciglio (brought on the pitch five minutes earlier), in a perfect instance of ''fantasia'', spotted a hole in the Polish defence and cut right through it with a razor-like crosspass through the middle, where suddenly Gabbiadini emerged to score the 3rd goal.

With only 36% ball posession, my team won with 3-1. They had a 74% pass success rate (much better than against England), and a stunning 12 shots on goal (Poland had 3). After the game the media hailed the ''sublime'' effectiveness of the Italian team. Effectiveness is what I aim for.

[Nentsia]

Il Rosanero



Ive started a new season (I am not done with my Milan-Italy season however) and I wanted to play with a smaller team playing in the lower regions of whatever league. First I considered some team in the English Premierleague and then I remembered how much I dislike the Premierleague. I went with my favorite small team in Italy (aside from Livorno): Palermo! The majority of the Italians will probably not consider this Sicilian club to be an ''Italian'' club, nor will many Sicilians do so.

After meeting with the club owner, Don Corleone, I set to work out a playing style that is roughly based on that of Giovanni Trapattoni. Trapattoni was a defensive midfielder playing for AC Milan in the 1970's, the heydays of Catenaccio in Italy. After his retirement as a player, Trapattoni became a coach. He started his coaching career at Milan, but was then appointed as manager of Juventus. During the 1980's Trapattoni led Juventus to its biggest successes and dominated European and Italian football. His secret was that he modernized the predictive Catenaccio system, being one of the inventors of the updated variant called Zona Mista. Trapattoni later moved to Inter Milan, then returned to Juventus for more prizes, then went to pick up prizes in Germany with Bayern Munich in the mid-1990's, and from 2000 until 2004 he coached the Italian national team. In 2008 Trap was appointed as manager of the Irish national team, and in 2012 he succesfully helped them reach the Uefa Euro 2012 tournament.

Trap's teams, especially his performance with Ireland, are characterized by highly effective football, teamwork, and strong tactical organization. With Palermo, Trapattoni will be my guide. The football style I'm pursuing has be simple, effective, and functional. No tiki taka a la Barcelona. Italy is the country where they invented a football style that represents the ''right of the weak''. For decades Italian teams have specialized using cleverness and intelligence rather than strength or skill. In a friendly against Olympique Marseille I could see my team at work for the first time. In terms of technical skill, Marseille is superior to Palermo. A perfect opportunity to see how the team holds up against a superior opponent.

Show ContentUSC Palermo:

My 4-4-2 set up is largely inspired on Trapattoni's Irish 4-4-2. It featured a very deep-lying four-man backline, two defensive central midfielders (with Fernando Gago being the playmaker), and two fast men on the wings. The two strikers are my best players. Alberto Gilardino is a veteran goalscorer, with plenty of experience (he played for Fiorentina and AC Milan), and a ruthless instinct to score goals. The absolute star of this team is Franco Vazquez. Vazquez is what they nowadays call a 9-and-a-half, meaning he is neither striker nor a shadow striker, but something in between that. He posesses a very refined technique, great passing skills, and a splendid vision to see opportunities that no one else is seeing. He is my ''Fantasista'', my specialist at creating scoring opportunities for teammates at the most unexpected moments. Half of Europe, including Tottenham and Bayern Munich are trying to buy this player from me.

Marseille came to Sicily with a 4-2-3-1 formation. The match began with my players losing the ball immediately. The team still has to get used to this playing style (I believe my predecessor implemented a quite attacking playing style). The advantage with my playing style, that emphasizes simplicity, is that even if the team is not used to it, it does function. The counter-attacks did not work well because players found it difficult to reach each other, but defensively it was solid as a rock. Gonzalez man-marked Marseille's striker, while the rest of my defensive players sat as a solid block in front of the goal. Marseille's distance shots had no effect. At half time, it was 0-0 with only 30% ball posession for Palermo.

Shortly after the break, it was Gilardino who scored a beauty of a goal. After a throw in from the left flank close to Marseille's penalty box, Gilardino picked up the ball, with his back to the goal. Suddenly he turned, and beautifully fired into the far corner over the goalkeeper. Less then five minutes later, Gilardino scored again. Marseille lost ball posession deep in my half. Fernando Gago sent a long pass to the left flank. From there the ball was played into the wide open space behind Marseille's defenders. Gilardino picked up the ball and finished it perfectly. Around the 75th minute Marseille came back into the game after an own goal from a corner kick. It was funny when Fernando Gago pretended to be injured to delay the game, and made the Marseille players so angry that the referree gave them yellow cards. Gago came over from Argentina, but he already understands the Italian word ''furbizia''.

But in the 82nd minute Vazquez scored from a long distance shot and determined the result at 3-1. After the match the press reported ''Dominating Marseille brought down by Palermo''. They wrote that ''the experts still don't know how Palermo managed to win'' against Marseille that was so dominant on the pitch. When the press writes stuff like that, I am proud of my eleven foxes. Trapattoni opted for a 4-4-2 with Ireland because the Anglo-saxon players are all used to that formation. But on top of that, it is perfect for a low-level team trying to park the bus/dig itself it/play bunkerball. The 4-4-2 offers a perfect distribution of defenders when defending in your own half: a double line of 4 defensive players, with the center and the flanks all being covered. The 8 men in front of the goal only have to stay compact, and move across the width of the pitch with the ball to block any spaces.

Marseille failed to find a way through, with its attacks ending in futile distance shots or failed passes. There was no way getting through my block of 8 in front of my goal. It has nothing to do with skill; it is simply a matter of movement. And this is achieved through drills. So any player can learn how to move within this system, and become defensively very solid. Another reason why Marseille was (quite easily) robbed of its victory is that French teams, in general and in this FM game, are quite dumb. The French have a habit to select their players on physical abilities (speed and strength). Half of their competition consists of physically intimidating African players. On a tactical level, French players, and French teams in general, have no idea what they are doing. So the physically strong defenders of Marseille were rather easily outwitted by crafty strikers like Gilardino and Vazquez. In any case, I won, which in Palermo's case, means I survived another week. They replace managers literally every 2 weeks. Don Corleone was satisfied for the time being.

[Flo]

I very much enjoy these little reports o/ keep up the good work

[Blacaria]

Some good reading whipping posts

[Nentsia]

*polishes his Community Shield he stole from Blac with 1-0*

[Flo]

you earned that!

[Nentsia]

The Return of the Blac

---

Show ContentLine-ups:

After sleeping for a thousand years, the Blac returned to claim his football superiority! And I wanted to see my Trapattoni-inspired 4-4-2 in action against the Silly Blac. The first game began quite silly: in the 2nd minute, a low cross was sent near the first post of my Villarreal. Huntelaar, Schalke's Dutch goalgetter, managed to get his toes against the ball and scored. A very silly goal indeed.

One minute later, a far cross this time, reached a Schalke 04 player and you've guessed it: goal.



Even Trapattoni would experience a genuine wtf-moment on the bench. Luckily, Blac's defenses aren't exactly watertight either. In the 9th minute Samuel rushed down the right flank, sent a long cross, and Soldado was left completely free to work the ball past the goalkeeper. Being back in the game, I tried to stabilize my own defense and then hope for an equalizer. I adopted a slightly more cautious playing style in ball-posession and made some defensive adjustments. The defense never became really stable however, with Schalke missing countless of opportunities by hitting the crossbar.

But I was getting my scoring opportunities as well, and I knew for certain that I would score the equalizer, which they did in the second half. For a moment Schalke was waning. They were giving away more and more opportunities, corner kicks, and my team had gained the momentum after that equalizer. With 15 minutes left on the clock I instructed the team to send every ball into the box and hope for a late winning goal. It didn't happen however, and the game ended in a draw again.

Although the defense was shaky in the first 30 minutes of the match, it steadily grew more solid and Ive seen moments when Blac's players just circulated the ball in my half, without finding any space to attack into. It was a beautiful, rythmic, mechanized movement of my players - along with Schalke's movement of the ball. This was not football anymore. This was pure maths!

Too bad my team failed to produce such a solid defending from the very beginning. Schalke fired 20 shots, but only 6 hit on target. Villarreal fired only 7 shots, but 5 on target. Schalke produced 2 clearcut scoring chances according to the statistics, Villarreal had 3 chances. Despite that, Schalke dominated ball posession with 63%. Villarreal's pass success rate of 64% however is quite poor.

The second game was, as usual in games between me and Blac, quite a disaster. Schalke opened the score around the 30th minute, with what was a bit of a lucky goal. A few moments later, Belhanda won a duel in midfield for the ball. He dribbled past one or two defenders, then played the ball into the penalty area to Huntelaar who finished it. It was a magnificent goal, I must admit that.

Being behind with 2-0 again, I proceeded to experiment with some things in the second half. Schalke scored again and the game ended 3-0. The odd thing is that after the game, the statistics claim that Schalke had 0 clearcut scoring chances, and Villarreal had 1. Blac Dominance, however, had returned.

The silly Blac left the game, bored with my inferiority, and I proceeded to continue for some more experimentation (CPU took over from Blac). What bothers me is that this is FM: and in FM there is no ''superior'' tactic, everything ~can~ work in the game, and everything ~can~ fail. It is very unlikely that there is only one magic solution to beat Blac's teams. It is more likely that there are many ways to beat him, but that I haven't tried those options yet. One way is to out-attack Blac. Blac builds insane scoring-machines, but one way to keep him from scoring is to keep the ball in his half. The offense is the best defense - so the Dutch would say.

I want to see however, whether the opposite can work. What if a team completely buries itself, and parks one big fat bus in front of its goal? I've always adopted for more defensive approaches against Blac, but always trying to maintain some balance and not give up the entire pitch to Blac. My reasoning for that is that when you withdraw too much in FM, the game punishes you by scoring from distance shots. I have however, in a season with Granada, kept Barcelona at 0-0 by withdrawing so much that I hit a sign reading ''Portuguese border''. It can work.

There is another reason why it might work against a team like Blac's. One of the reasons his teams are so hard to stop is because of the attacking intensity: many players join the attack, they swarm where they can find spaces, and they can give unexpected passes or suddenly dribble right into your penalty area. This sort of stuff is fun, but it only works if the opponent leaves space open to exploit like that. So what if I completely park the bus, deny any space in the key areas of the pitch?

In the experimental game, without Blac, Schalke suddenly found no room for dribbles anymore. No room for through balls. Crosses did reach their players, but there were too many defenders in their way to really become dangerous. What surprised me however, was that I did not end up having 20% ball posession. On the contrary, it was around 43% - which is better than I had in previous games. I suspect it might have something to do with a higher defensive intensity: upon reaching the vulnerable areas, Schalke's players found themselves under high pressure and they were surrounded by opponents with no space to play into. So when Schalke got too close to my goal, they inevitably lost ball posession. In the 79th minute my Villarreal scored from a counter-attack down the right flank. Schalke had no clearcut scoring chances that game, Villarreal had 1.

This image shows where my Villarreal intercepted Schalke's passes, and its quite telling: Schalke found no way through the extremely crowded center of the pitch before my goal, where I had concentrated all my players. So maybe that's one possible strategy for the future. If Blac exploits space so well, maybe I should just deny him even a single inch.

---

I noticed something in the FM analysis tool, and I went to check out one of my games against Blac's team. Here you can see the actual positioning of both our teams on the pitch. Green circles are the players positioning when the team is in ball posession, or one could say, in attack. Orange indicates the positioning of the players when the team is without ball posession, or one could say, in defence. Blue is the total sum and shows the average positioning of the players throughout the entire match.

One obvious thing that can be observed from comparing both teams is that Blac's team, in practice operates much more like a 4-1-4-1. But also the fact that Blac's team has much more players positioned in my half than I have in his, and generally speaking, my team is much deeper positioned than Blac's. So far, nothing new. I was aware of this.

But I've discovered another subtle difference. The blue positions, which represents the average position of the players throughout the entire game, differs in relation to the orange and green ones between the two teams. For long I thought the blue one simply showed the average, the mean, the median, the middle. Nothing interesting. But if you look closely, the blue positions of Schalke's players (Blac's team), are closer to the green positioning, than to the orange positions. With my team it is the opposite: the average positioning (blue) is relatively closer to the orange (without posession) positioning. This could simply mean that my team spent most of its time without ball posession, so therefore, its average positioning is relatively closer to that when the team is without posession. But in other games, when teams of mine dominated ball posession, they showed the exact same pattern: the overall positioning remained closer to the defensive positioning.

One thing that can be learned from this fact is that on average, Blac's players are more inclined to abbandon their defensive positions. Blac's teams are more likely to break out of their tactical shape. This accommodates Blac's attacking football style, because it makes it easier for his teams to retain ball posession if the players move into attacking positions, and it helps his attacks becoming less predictable als his players are willing to move into spaces. My players show a greater hesitance to abbandon their defensive positions. They play more disciplined and organized, and they are less likely to break the tactical shape of the team. It makes my team's attacking playing style more predictable, and clinical, but the advantage is that the team is able to quickly return to its defensive shape when the ball is lost.

A third thing to notice is the distances between the players. The distance between Blac's players is slightly bigger than between my players. Especially in the central areas, my team seems to stay much closer together and keep short distances. Blac's central players are further removed from eachother both vertically and horizontally. This accommodates Blac's attacking style, because the larger distances enables him to stretch the play and force my defenders to run their asses off until they can't anymore and Blac's team can get into a scoring position. My team's display is in accordance with a defensive mentality. By keeping the central players close to each other, my team tries to limit the space for Blac's players in the key area of the pitch. In ball posession, the short distances between the central midfielders reduces the risk of Blac's players intercepting a pass in this crucial area.

[Nentsia]

Sicily - Italy

Its been six weeks now since I kissed Don Corleone's hand as he gave me his blessing to lead the biggest club of Sicilia, USC Palermo. The preparation for the season went much better than I had expected. Of course it began with that unexpected victory against Marseille, based on a gameplan of Giovanni Trapattoni, a specialist when it comes to functional and pragmatic football to help weaker teams. I stood for the daunting task to reverse the tactical brainwashing of the previous manager, some idiot who wanted Palermo to play Spanish Tiki-Taka and Juego de posicion and all that bullshit. So here I stand, in the Sicilian heat, yelling at the players to play the ball forward, and not sideways.

The second game of the pre-season was Novara, for some reason an affiliated club of mine in the lower league Serie B. Novara is a German, ahem... Northern Italian city close to Milan and Turin. I have no idea why they are affiliated with Palermo. But knowing Italians, it probably has to do with... Business. And Silvio Berlusconi.

Let me explain why it matters that Novara is from the North. The North, the Po Valley, occupied the South. The North destroyed the economy of the South and condemned it to lifelong slavery. The North produced Fascism and Mussolini. The South was the domain of rebels: Socialists, anarchists, the Church, and the Mafia. Rome was their common enemy. The Sicilians use olive oil, the Northerners butter - like Germans.

I won the game against Novara with 1-0. I wanted to see my alternative formation at work: 4-3-1-2. This formation is quite common in the Serie A because it serves two needs that have a high priority among Italian clubs: it employs a tridente up front that is a guarantee for goals, and it overloads the central areas of the pitch to ensure defensive security. I want to use this formation with Palermo against weaker teams against which I must win, while at the same time not exposing myself too much - for the Serie A is ruthless.

The system required some perfectioning though. Gradually, the team started to produce bigger and better results - with fat scorelines like 6-0. Also, the money started pouring in. I had asked Don Corleone for some... financial favors to help me with this job. I do not know where the money came from (millions) and I do not want to know. All I know is that the Corleone clan turned Palermo into Europe's Heroine capital in the 1970's, while prime minister Giulio Andreotti protected the Corleones as they arranged votes for him here in Sicily. The money was well-spent on an extra midfielder, Fernando Gago, and Alessandro Longhi - a full back. More importantly, the extra money enabled me to keep key players like Vazquez at the club.

Of course, Vazquez sent his agent to me to demand a much higher salary if I wanted to keep him at Palermo. So I went to see Don Corleone again, and asked him for advice. The Don assured me ''I'll make him an offer he can't refuse...''
Vazquez later showed up at the training as if he had seen a ghost. Apparently he had woken up with a horse's head in his bed, and his agent woke up at the bottom of the sea with a block of cement around his feet.


The Bus of Palermo

The pre-season ended, and I had to face Pescara, from the Serie B, in the Coppa Italia. I deployed the improved 4-3-1-2 with Palermo. The match was utterly boring, since Pescara parked the bus in front of its goal, and I instructed my players to play extra cautiously. The team struggled to create scoring chances, until a corner kick helped us out. Giancarlo Gonzalez headed the ball, but it hit the crossbar. The rebound was blocked. But then Hiljemark miraculously managed to get it into the net, despite everyone falling over eachother on top of the ball. With 1-0 in the lead, we gradually tightened up and slowed down the game, and suffocated it. With 1-0 the job was done.

Then the first Serie A game of the season came. I faced Sampdoria, a club from Genua. Sampdoria was once briefly succesful in Italy and Europe, in the early 1990's when players like Roberto Mancini and Gianluca Vialli played there. Now they have Antonio Cassano, Italy's enfant terrible. He could've been the best player in Europe. Instead he decided he wanted to have lots of sex while he was at Real Madrid.

Sampdoria was managed by Vincenzo Montella. This young Italian manager is known to deploy a very attacking 4-3-3, with many roaming players. Sampdoria was predicted to win. Time to put Trapattoni's system to the real test. I deployed my deep 4-4-2 block, instructed Giancarlo Gonzalez to man-mark the shit out of Cassano, and sit with 8 men in front of the goal. Basically, we played with 9 goalkeepers and 2 strikers: Gilardino and Vazquez.

After 10 minutes we surprisingly took the lead from a corner-kick. Andelkovic, a defender, headed the ball past Samp's goalkeeper. I specially chose for Andelkovic this game because of his strength in the air, something very useful when you intend to park the bus. Andelkovic repaid it with a goal. Around the 20th minute, Sampdoria equalized because nobody was paying attention to that midfielder who wandered into the penalty box and suddenly found the ball before his feet. But it was an away game, so I was willing to settle for a draw against Sampdoria.

Not much later however, we scored from another corner kick. This time it was the other central defender, Giancarlo Gonzalez. The second half then was mostly about Sampdoria trying all sorts of cool stuff like players swapping positions, and players overlapping, and very scary long shots (not..), while Palermo performed a shameless display of 'anti-football'. Palermo was dangerous on the counter attack occasionally, with Lazaar and Morganella on the flanks rushing up and down as Samp gave away lots of space. Gilardino was very close to a goal a couple of times. After 90 minutes, the game was over, we won as underdogs with 2-1, and Sicilian bus drove home again. Back to Palermo, where the Don congratulated me. But he also warned me. Next week you play against Inter Milan. ''Don't disappoint me.''