Blac and Nents silly match reports

[Nentsia]

Salerno, Campania - Italy

As players of Palermo were practicing their drills in the heat of the Palermo plains in Sicily, I needed to visit an old friend. I knew, from the legends, that I had to be in Salerno, a small coastal town south of Naples. As I strutted through the harbor of Salerno, looking for my old friend, I noticed a man sitting on the dock, looking at the fishing boats. It was an old man. I needed him now.

I walked up to the old man sitting on the dock. I sat down next to him. ''Still watching the boats after all these years?''

The man nodded. ''I always come here to think. When I managed the local club here, Salernitana, we were performing very badly. I had to do something. So I came here to think, and looked at those fishing boats.'' and the man pointed at the boats deploying their reserve nets behind their main nets. ''Thats where I got my inspiration from'', the man smiled. ''I deployed an extra defender, a reserve one, behind my defence, to make sure nothing could get through. Catenaccio... we called it later.'' I nodded, as I looked at the ships. It was time for Catenaccio.

I returned to Sicily, and called the players together. We were going to change our tactics. I know I promised the players to play only two systems; 4-4-2 and 4-3-1-2. Trapattoni formations. But against Inter Milan, it felt right to resort to a football tradition that was invented by the Southern Italian teams. Catenaccio was invented by the poor teams of Southern Italy in order to stand a chance against the dominant, wealthy teams of the North: Juventus, AC Milan, and Internazionale. Catenaccio was the Right of the Weak, the weapon of the poor and oppressed South against the rich and powerful North. Catenaccio was a tactical innovation that enabled weak teams to hold out against much bigger teams, not by skill, but by tactical drills. Catenaccio was about playing smart, for those who lack strength must be clever.

I outlined my plans to the players to deploy a classic 5-3-2 against Inter, with Giancarlo Gonzalez being the designated ''free defender'', the Libero, operating behind the defence to clear everything. Andelkovic had the key task to guard Inter Milan's dangerous goalscorer, Mauro Icardi, throughout the match. Edoardo Goldaniga was a stopper, playing as an aggressive defender and tackling as hard as he could. In front of them, I deployed three central midfielders - all of them in more or less defensive roles. Gago was the playmaker of the team. He had the special task to give the long and difficult passes, while the rest had to keep it simple. On the flanks, I deployed Achraf Lazaar and Michel Morganella as the runners, the wing-backs, with the task of defending and being the first ones to jump forward on the counter-attack. Up front, I had the standard partnership of Gilardino and Vazquez.

The night before the game, a couple of big guys showed up before my house in Palermo. They were sent by Don Corleone. ''The Don sent us to remind you how important he thinks the match of tomorrow is. You must win against Inter Milan.'' I of course agreed with them.
''No-no, you do not understand. You ~must~ win...''
I was beginning to get the feeling that failure was not an option.

''The Don has invested a considerable amount of money in the Totonero.'' The men explained. ''Totonero?'' I asked.
''The ...unregistered football gambling market. It is run by the Families in Naples, and if the Don loses money, we might get into trouble with the Camorra. Which means you have a problem with the Corleone organization. Capisce?''

Of course I understood I was playing for my life tomorrow. I thanked the gentlemen for the supportive message and went to bed.


Fight to the Death

Roberto Mancini's Inter Milan came to Palermo in its expected 4-3-3 formation. I urged the players in the dressing room to fight for every inch and to do it for the fans (and my life).

The game started and it started surprisingly well. Inter Milan was rather cautious in the opening fase, and it was my team that was having the ball. But we played ineffectively. As I had ordered to keep the central areas of the pitch closed and well-protected, most the attacks needed to be launched from the flanks. But the crosses from my flanks to the strikers were not very effective. Inter's defenders like Miranda and Murillo are just beasts in the air, and Gilardino stood no chance against them. We had to adapt to the circumstances. We had to be smart. I yelled from the sidelines to send low crosses, because Gilardino posesses what they call ''Fiuto''. He can ''smell'' a goalscoring opportunity. Gilardino excels in being at the right spot at the right time. A low cross might be the perfect way to surprise and confuse those Inter defenders, and enable Gilardino to benefit.

But as the game progressed through the first half, it was mostly about Inter Milan attacking, and my team defending. But they were defending like I had never seen them do before. Perisic and Jovetic were constantly knocked from the ball if they had it, and they found no room to reach Icardi. Icardi permanently had Andelkovic in his neck, and never got any close to goal. Inter's danger had to come from Kondogbia, who tried long shots - but most of them were blocked by this dense forest of players I kept between my goal and the ball. It was Catenaccio in its purest form. It was a ''deep defence''. Every time an Inter attacker got the ball, he had one man on his tail, with a second one behind that one to step in if he got past. And after those two there were 6 more defenders all being ready to stop the attacker. My defence was as Catenaccio intended it to be: a pool of mud. The type of mud that even stopped the advance of Germany's tanks into the Soviet Union.

Gari Medel picked a yellow card, and I instructed the players to do everything they could to further provoke this guy. Medel is a hotheaded midfielder, prone to take yellow and red cards. But then, in the 30th minute, disaster struck. Inter Milan had a corner kick. It was sent into the box with a low kick. Kondogbia moved away from his marker, and kicked the ball into the near corner of the goal.

My first response is always: stay calm. The match was going well, there are reasons to hope that we will pick a goal as well. I did allow to let the team take slightly more risks by expanding our game. During the break the staff encouraged the players to carry on in the second half, that they were doing a good job out there. We had bad luck, but we could score an equalizer.

In the second half however, Inter slowed the game down and not much happened. I waited too long with my response. In the 70th minute I ordered the troops out of their trenches and use all means necessary to score that equalizer. Inter Milan was pressed back into its own half, and Lazaar and Morganella sent one cross after another into the box. Vazquez sent sublime long passes, crossing the entire pitch diagonally, to players like Gilardino who were running into spaces. Lazaar had a 100% scoring opportunity when a cross landed before his feet and all the Inter defenders had forgotten about him. But the goalkeeper stood in the way. In the 90th minute, as a result of our aggressively chasing the ball to recover it as quick as possible, Morganella took his second yellow card and was sent off. Two minutes later, the game ended in a 0-1 victory for Inter Milan. The team had fought and given everything, but we did not have luck on our side.

After the match I was forced to give press conferences, so I couldn't make a run for the airport and flee Sicily. After the press conference, I received a phonecall. It was Don Corleone. ''You lost... I lost a lot of money. But I have good news for you. Next week, you have to play against Juventus. If you win, I'll win my money back, and I'm willing to forgive you.''